Maintenance and Growth

In December of last year, the mother of one of my closest friends passed away almost suddenly. It was sudden to me because last I heard, her health was getting better. I was unable to make it to my hometown for the funeral and I felt terrible about that. Still do. The factors that played into my not being there were fairly typical—I didn’t have money for a short-notice plane ticket and my car was giving me trouble. The older I become, the more important it is for me to ‘be there’ as much as possible for the people I love and care about. It was this unfortunate event that prompted me to think of some things differently.

I recognize that I am blessed to not really have a need for anything. So in my quiet time I would pray a pseudo humble prayer  trying to convince God that I was satisfied with the ‘things that I do have.’ But, I wasn’t. I was grateful, but not satisfied. There’s a difference.

I wanted a new car so that I could ‘be there,’ wherever that was—for emergencies, celebrations, and everything in between—to the best of my ability. I hardly have any family and/or friends in Atlanta where I currently reside and for a while, when I was trying to be grown that was fine. Now that I am grown, I know all too well that life is short. Therefore, I should capitalize on every opportunity to spend time with those most important to me.

My thoughts changed. No longer beating around the bush in my mind, I accepted the fact that I both needed and wanted a better car. I couldn’t afford it, though. As my thoughts changed, the words of my prayers changed. I asked for the provision of extra income and/or the shifting around of things in my budget so that I could afford to pay a note.  More specifically I prayed, “Lord, please tailor-make a financing deal just for me.” And guess what? He did.

Would you like to know what happened shortly thereafter? I’ll tell you anyway. Another close friend of mine had a death in her family. I thank God I was able to be there, in my new car.

This is not about the car, though. The car situation is the catalyst that propelled my mind into a deeper realm of thought. I believe that the change in my thinking—the fact that I was no longer satisfied with just making do with what I had—is what propelled the change in my situation. All of a sudden I noticed things going on in my life right now; things that are being maintained but not growing—the main ‘thing’ being Me! I beat around the bush when it comes to the things I really feel and want and it is that line of thought that has me maintaining instead of growing in many areas of my life.

I heard someone say recently, “The heart’s primary value sets a life’s course.” What does your heart value? Right now, mine is set on growth.