I hadn’t really been keeping up with the Casey Anthony trial but I did watch the verdict. I also watched the responses to the verdict on Facebook and Twitter which were clearly contrary to what was rendered. I, somehow, found a way to draw a parallel between the spit decision and my dating life. Bear with me. I’m going somewhere with this.
This Casey Anthony case has me wondering: Why do some people seem to get away with murder while others get life sentences for the same crimes? The law makes provisions for various degrees and intent but when it’s all said and done, murder is murder, right?
In the Anthony’s case, it can be argued that she got off because of her gender, her race, and/or the amount of money put into the case (around $4 million, paid for mostly by Florida tax payers, BAM!) The bottom line is that the jury could not ascertain that, beyond a shadow of doubt, that Casey killed her baby based on the evidence provided to them. Let me break it down for you “so it can forever and consistently be broke.” (That’s a line from Love Jones.)
When it comes to dating, people (I) tend to put up with all types, colors and smells of manure from certain individuals for the most peculiar reasons; reasons, so blatant but shameful to admit. So, why is it that some people get away with murder when others are put away for lesser offences? Here’s why.
1. They’re attractive. When I say ‘attractive’ I mean the person gets a pass on being a bunghole because they are physically attractive, popular, have some sort of notoriety, a lil more money. He or she is a ‘good look’ on paper and you’ve been waiting for a ‘come up’. Don’t allow anyone to get away with treating you like crap because of what you feel they can do for you in the long run because in the long run you will find yourself exhausted , regretful and guarded to the ones who would have never treated you badly in the first place. In other words, don’t be so afraid, or so insecure that you don’t call people on their malarkey. Take them off that pedestal and put yourself up there. You’re worth it.
2. You settle because everyone has flaws and you're going to have to deal with something at some point. This is true. However, there is a difference between patience and wishful thinking. Some things, when you count up the cost, are not worth your time, comfort, tears, money, or sanity! Assess what those things are and hold everyone accountable to the same standards. Be patient, realizing that everyone won’t meet those standards and remain hopeful because someone will.
3. There is not enough concrete evidence. Casey wasn’t convicted because the prosecution’s case (and the public’s case) against her was all passion with not enough evidence. This is where the wishful thinking or the ‘here say’ comes in. We get caught up in the newness, passion and what others think of a situation but we fail to get the evidence we need to convict; or, the evidence is simply not there—it’s all ‘hear say’. Have they proven that they are ‘the one’? Have they proven themselves to be loyal, trustworthy, able to handle your emotions, sensitive to your needs? Or have they just been interesting, fun to be around and great in bed? Think about it.
4. You choose to ignore what evidence is right in front of you. I know this sounds a bit contrary to my previous point but, listen. People get away with murder in relationships (friendships, professional, dating, monogamous) because they can—because you, I, we LET THEM. I can’t say undoubtedly that Casey Anthony killed her child. Only a handful of people and God know for sure. I do believe there was some foul play involved. It’s that feeling, that inkling, that intuition that we choose to ignore for the sake of reasons 1 & 2. Something’s not right. You know he’s not ready to commit to one person, let alone to you who he just met 25 days ago, but you go ‘all in’ and place those expectations on him anyway. You know she has extreme emotional issues, but you write it off as her being a woman and ‘women just trip like that sometimes’. Stop it!!! If it’s one thing that I have learned it’s that one has to be self confident and whole before they can carry on a meaningful relationship with someone else. And, when you do get to that place of wholeness and self assurance, don’t assume that other people are in the same place just because they are putting themselves out there. They could be doing what you were doing at one point, fooling themselves.
So how do you keep the criminals off the streets of your heart? That’s another blog entry for another day so… stay tuned. If you have a suggestion, please do leave a comment.
