Please Don't Make Me Say It

Please Don’t Make Me Say It

Once upon a time, I met a guy. To this day, I still don’t know how I missed something very important. Maybe it was the angle I saw him from, as he was taller than I am. Maybe I just didn’t pay close enough attention.

Our previous encounters were mostly group situations. After exchanging numbers and talking on the phone for a few days we had our first date. We met at the movie theatre but went our separate ways afterwards so we didn’t really have any one-on-one face time. It wasn’t until our second date, when we went to lunch, that I discovered his bottom teeth were rotten. When I say rotten, I mean rotten from tooth to gum. How did I miss that? I distinctly remember thinking as I watched him put a fork full of ravioli into his mouth, “What is that? It looks like there’s a Tootsie roll wedged in between his teeth.”

We finished eating and hung out for a while at his house and I acted as if nothing was wrong. Of course as soon as I got into my car to go home, I called one of my girls to tell her about what I found. Her first question was the same as everyone else’s that I told thereafter, “What do you mean by rotten?” After I proceeded to give her my ‘tootsie roll’ analogy she asked me what I was going to do.

The part that makes me gag just thinking about it is the fact that before I realized he had a ‘situation’ I let him kiss me. Mind you it was just a closed peck on the lips but still. I called my dentist’s office and asked if his stank mouth germs could harm me and the tech said emphatically, “YES!” So, I was faced with a dilemma. It wasn’t a matter of if I would say something but more so how I was going to say it because I had to say something.

During our next few phone conversations I listened for opportunities to bring it up. He told me I had soft lips and that he couldn’t wait to kiss me again. (Gag!) Of course I never reciprocated any interest in kissing him again. I didn’t want to seem shallow so I accepted his invitation to go over to his house and watch a movie.

Just before he hit play on the DVD player, I told him that I wanted to ask him something but I didn’t want to offend him. He, being the sweetheart he was, said, “Ask away.” Here’s how the conversation went:

Me (gesturing, but pointing at my bottom row of teeth): What’s that?
Him: What’s what?
Me: In your bottom teeth. What’s going on with that?
Him: Oh, that’s nothing. I just haven’t had them cleaned in a while.
Me: Oh. Well do you have a dentist out here?
Him: Nah, I haven’t found one yet.
Me: Do you have dental insurance?
Him: Yeah, I do.
Me: Well my dentist is great! I can give you his information if you’d like. I know how hard it is to find someone you can trust.
Him: Oh OK. That’s what’s up. Nah, you didn’t offend me.

Then we proceeded to watch the movie. We sat close. Not only did his breath stink but he kept drinking fruit punch which made it worse. I could sense that he was just itching to put the moves on me so, I ‘fell asleep’. My bad, I had a long day.

Over the next few weeks I became extremely ‘busy’ with ‘work stuff’, and conveniently, so did he. (Thank you Jesus!) I was hoping that the space would get me off the hook so that I didn't have to let the poor guy down. It didn't. Dude started calling and texting me more frequently like he did in the beginning, only I had lost interest. My attraction for him was left right there on the table at California Pizza Kitchen on that Sunday afternoon of our second date. I dropped hints by not immediately returning calls & texts if at all and I never responded reciprocally to his 'I miss you's. He didn’t catch on.

So, one day in response to him saying (via text message) that he would like us to start hanging out again I told him that I wasn’t interested in hanging out with him like that anymore. Then he asked the question that DID NOT want to have to answer, “Why not?” Please don’t make me say it.

The issues he had going on don’t just happen overnight. Apparently somebody looked passed it. After all, he said he has had girlfriends in the past. I met his friends and they seemed like a pretty tight group. Hmmm… Why haven’t they said anything?

Anyway, I took the passive route and said that we could still be friends. He bowed out gracefully but a few days later he took to Facebook with his frustration. (Don’t you hate when people allude to certain things in their Facebook statuses and you just know they’re talking about you?)

Oh well. Another one bites the dust. If he doesn’t get his issue straight, that’s all he’ll be able to bite in a minute.